


Empty Coffee Mugs, Kisses and, Breakdowns

by LovelyJehan



Series: Ryan/Brendon/Dallon Poly Fics [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: ? - Freeform, Crying, Dallon gets lots of cuddles, Dallon is a lil' squish that needs to be protected, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, I can't decide whether I ship Ryden or Brallon so I put all three together, Implied/Referenced ADHD, Low Self Esteem, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Post-Split, Protective Boyfriends, it's fluffy I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8389816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyJehan/pseuds/LovelyJehan
Summary: Dallon's low self-esteem and mental health issues cause him to have a breakdown. Ryan and Brendon provide him with lots of love and cuddles. 
Rated T just to be safe, is probably more G though.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Beware, this is the first Panic! fic I have written and published. Feedback is appreciated.

Dallon awoke when he could no longer feel body heat from beside him. He stretched his arms and he could feel no one on either side of him. The clock on one of the beside tables told him that it was nine in the morning and that his boyfriends were probably downstairs having breakfast. Reluctantly, Dallon extracted himself from the comfort of the bed, put on a pair of sweat pants and walked down the stairs. When he reached the kitchen, he saw Brendon sitting on the counter top and Ryan, standing in front of him. They were kissing. There were three empty mugs sitting near the coffee maker and Dallon rolled his eyes even if they couldn’t see him. 

That was when Dallon felt it. The worry. Pooling in his stomach like water and thoughts began to circle around his mind. Brendon and Ryan had been together since before Dallon had even met Brendon and although when he met Brendon, Ryan had been out of the picture for a long time, Dallon had always known of the bond that had formed between the two of them. It wasn’t that Dallon was jealous, far from, but there was always a small piece of doubt that was in the back of his mind and would sometimes resurface in times like this. Dallon hated it. Hated the thoughts that said he would never deserve Brendon and Ryan. Hated the thoughts that told him he was worthless, and he especially hated the thoughts that he should just kill himself because Ryan and Brendon would never completely love him. 

He hated that he sometimes believed them. 

So Dallon looked at the pair who were wrapped up in each other and decided to go back upstairs, unknowingly to him, Brendon and Ryan heard him walk away and both instantly knew what was wrong. Dallon found himself in front of the mirror in the - _their -_ bedroom. He was only dressed in the sweats that he had pulled on moments before and Dallon saw all his insecurities surface on his stomach and chest. Dallon looked at himself. ‘ _Ugly’_ , he thought. _‘Worthless. Pathetic. Disgusting.’_ Dallon was so wrapped up in his self destructive thoughts, that he failed to noticed Brendon and Ryan had slipped into the room. Ryan rested his chin on Dallon’s shoulder, and Brendon - who was shorter than his two boyfriends - nuzzled his head into Dallon’s bare chest. Dallon stared at Ryan and Brendon in the mirror.

Ryan reached up with one of his hands to gently wipe away the tears that Dallon didn’t know were flowing. He rested his head on Ryan’s while two pairs of arms made their across Dallon’s torso. He let out a sob and more tears rushed down his cheeks, he let his boyfriends guide him to their bed. Ryan sat leaning against the headboard, and pulled Dallon onto his lap, whilst Brendon lay next to them, arms still wrapped around the tallest boy. Ryan ran his fingers through Dallon’s hair in an attempt to calm him down, to which the older boy leaned into.

Ryan understood, _God_ , did Ryan understand. Ryan had the same crippling mental issues Dallon did, Ryan felt the same way about Brendon and Dallon, that Dallon did about Ryan and Brendon. The pair had talked about this from the comfort of their couch, when Brendon had been at the studio one day. Ryan had told Dallon that he felt he wasn’t needed in their relationship and that these thoughts were particularly strong when Brendon and Dallon were on tour. They couldn’t risk having Ryan come out to a show, just in case someone saw him on the flight, with the band or crew, or God forbid someone from the crowd saw him backstage. 

Brendon didn’t go unscathed either, he felt that due to his ADHD that he was a burden. That because of his hyperactive tendencies the other two got annoyed, which was not untrue, but it didn’t mean that the older two of the relationship loved him any less. So yes, while they all had mental illnesses and fucked up thoughts, they made the relationship work because they _understood_. 

There they were, Ryan and Brendon attempting to calm their obviously distraught boyfriend. 

“Babe?” Ryan whispered. 

Dallon made no response and just cried harder, trying to twist out of the embrace that his boyfriends held him in. As Dallon lurched forward, Brendon held him back against Ryan. They both knew from experience that letting Dallon go would mean they wouldn’t see or hear from him for _days._

“Dal, baby.” Brendon tried and this time Dallon stopped, stopped twisting around, stopped sobbing. Just stopped. He was completely still, except for small, short breaths. 

Brendon pressed a kiss to the side of the older man’s head. 

“Dallon, what’s wrong? Baby, what happened?” Ryan asked in a careful tone. 

Dallon made no answer, but instead turned over and buried his head into Ryan’s chest. Brendon and Ryan shared a glance before looking down at the distraught boy. Ryan and Brendon rubbed Dallon’s back as he cried into Ryan’s chest. After several minutes Dallon extracted himself from Ryan’s chest and scrambled out of the touches of his boyfriends.

“Dal?” Brendon asked quietly, looking at the boy who had his back against the wall next to the bed. 

Brendon moved so that he was sitting in Dallon’s lap. The tall boy’s arms subconsciously wrapped around Brendon. Dallon was no longer crying, but he was shaking. Ryan moved so that he was sitting next to Dallon and he wrapped his arms around his two boyfriends. 

“Dal, baby?” Ryan whispered. 

In an answer, Dallon nuzzled his head into Brendon’s neck and Ryan’s chest. Brendon arms, were wrapped tightly around Dallon’s torso and vice versa and Ryan ran his fingers through the older boy’s hair. 

“Why are you still here?” Dallon asked. 

Ryan and Brendon’s hearts both broke for their boyfriend. 

“We’re here because we love you.” Brendon stated with conviction. 

Dallon’s shaking began to slowly subside and soon he was just still except for the rise and fall of his chest when he breathed. 

“I’m sorry.” Dallon said, his voice so soft and quiet that the other two boys almost missed it. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Ryan replied, “we love you.”

“So much.” Brendon contributed.

“I know and I love you both, too” 

Ryan pulls away first and offers a hand to each of his boyfriends to pull them up and guides them back to the bed. Ryan and Dallon lie on either side of the bed with Brendon in-between them. Ryanand Dallon wrap their arms around Brendon and lace their fingers together, the younger boy snuggles himself into the chests of his boyfriends. He falls asleep first, mumbling an ‘I love you.’ Ryan and Dallon share a quick look and a quick kiss above Brendon’s head before they promptly fall asleep themselves. 

The empty coffee mugs still forgotten. 

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk to me](https://naughtyryro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
